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Talking to Parents

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Tips for talking to your parents about birth control

If you’re under 18 in Dallas, Texas you will need your parent’s consent to get birth control. If you’re on your parent’s insurance, you may also be wondering how to go about having the conversation about birth control with them. Don’t worry, we’ve got some tips!

graphic of two women looking at laptop with outlines of birth control methods surrounding them
Start with education
You could start the conversation by discussing what you’ve learned about sexual health in school or from other reliable sources.
Express your motivation
Clearly express and emphasize what your goal is, such as you want to learn more so you can make healthy and informed decisions.
Be calm, respectful and open
Try to stay calm, and show the respect you would want your parents to show you even if your beliefs and values are different.
Image graphic of woman in a circle with a text bubble reading: "I've been thinking a lot about my future, and part of that is understanding how to take care of my body and learning about all aspects of my health. Can we talk about birth control?"
image graphic of a woman with text bubble reading: "I've been learning about sexual health in school. I'd like to know more about it for my own safety and knowledge and understand more about birth control options. Can we talk about it?"
image graphic of a woman with text bubble reading: "A few people in my class have talked about getting birth control from their doctor, and I realized I don't know as much as I should about it. Could we discuss this together?"
Ask for their opinion and thoughts
Engage your parent in the conversation by asking for their thoughts and opinions. This can make them feel respected and valued.
Acknowledge their concerns
If your parent has concerns, don’t dismiss them. Acknowledge their worries and address them openly.
Prepare ahead of time
Do some research beforehand and know what you want to say and ask. Having a few key points or questions can help guide the conversation and keep it focused.

Where might you have the conversation?

Choosing the right setting for the conversation about birth control can be just as important as what you say. It is important that you and your parent feel comfortable, and different locations can offer privacy or familiarity to help facilitate an open and honest conversation.

Here’s some places to try…

  • At home
  • During a car ride
  • During a walk or hike
  • At a coffee shop or casual restaurant
  • In a park
image graphic of teen talking to parent at dinner table

Talking to a few different parent types…

The Open-Minded Parent

It’s best to do your research before talking to them. Show that you appreciate them being open to this, and suggest going to talk to a doctor for more information. They want to know what’s up and may even accompany you to the doctors.

When talking to them you could say…

image graphic of a mother with text bubble reading: "I'm glad you're taking responsibility for your health. There are many birth control options out there."
image graphic of a woman with text bubble reading: "So far, I understand that using two methods can provide better protection against both pregnancy and STDs. Can we get more information from a doctor?"
image graphic of a woman with text bubble reading: "Thanks for being open about this. Maybe we can arrange a visit to a doctor to discuss options further."

The Cautious Parent

This parent may be hesitant to discuss birth control, but they recognize the importance of their teen’s health and future, and seek comprehensive information about birth control options. Share with them what you’ve researched, highlight the benefits, and the resources that is available in terms of who to go to for help and more info.

When talking to them you could say…

image graphic of a parent with text bubble reading: "Birth control can have side effects. What if birth control affects your future fertility?"
image graphic of a woman with text bubble reading: "Using birth control doesn't necessarily mean I plan to have sex soon. It can have other health benefits too, and it's important for me to be educated on all parts of my health."
image graphic of a woman with text bubble reading: "I understand, but I'm interested in having more information about all available options. Can we talk to a doctor?"

The Strict Parent

This parent might hold conservative views and disapproval of birth control. It’s important to remain calm and respectful of their opinion. Sometimes it can help to point out the benefits of birth control besides preventing pregnancy, and suggest bringing a doctor into the conversation.

When talking to them you could say…

image graphic of a woman with text bubble reading: "I know that some birth control methods require consistent use, like taking a pill every day at the same time. I'm prepared for this responsibility."
image graphic of a woman with text bubble reading: "I've learned there are many different types of birth control, each with its own benefits and potential side effects. For instance, there's the pill, IUDs, implants, patches, and more. Each serves the same purpose but works in slightly different ways."
image graphic of a woman with text bubble reading: "I've been reading from reputable health websites, like the CDC, and even checked out some medical journals to ensure I'm getting accurate information."

Asking a parent’s consent for birth control

When you’re ready to seek your parent’s consent for using birth control, start by summarizing the discussion to show you both understand how the other feels. Repeat what you know about the pros and cons of using birth control to show you’ve done your  research and are prepared for the responsibilities that come with using birth control.

Then, respectfully make a clear and direct request, such as, “Considering everything we’ve talked about and the research I’ve done, would you be comfortable giving your consent for me to start using birth control?” Or, “Would you be willing to continue the conversation with a doctor?”

After asking, give them time to respond and process, without pressing for an immediate answer. Be ready to accept their response, understanding that they may need more time or may have additional concerns, regardless of whether their immediate answer is a ‘yes,’ ‘no,’ or ‘I need more time to think about it.’

graphic of two women sitting on couch talking to each other

Alternatives to talking to your parent

We know it can be hard to approach a parent or guardian sometimes. Here are some other ideas to stay safe if talking to your parent is not an option.

Other birth control methods
There are methods you can get without parental consent. You can buy condoms, spermicide cream, or emergency contraception (often known as Plan B) at your local drugstore like Walgreens or CVS without parental permission.
Seek other sources of information
If your parent continues to be uncomfortable discussing this, you can also seek information from other reliable sources. This might include a healthcare provider, school counselor, or other trusted adult such as another family member or friend.
Professional help
If appropriate, suggest involving a healthcare provider or counselor in the discussion. They can provide accurate information and possibly help you and your parent feel more comfortable about this conversation.
Need help? Text us at (214)-302-7654
Trust Her removes barriers to birth control so all women and girls in Dallas County can plan for their families and their futures. Trust Her is an initiative of the nonprofit Child Poverty Action Lab.
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info@trust-her.org
Dallas, Texas, United States
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